Even when the future comes, when i become an adult, i can't forget that you were all here with me. From this little place, from what has quietly begun.

December holidays. Fast. And here is the traditional reflection of the year. Yet again i ask myself, what have i been doing all this time? Was it satisfactory? Or was it another waste? I dont want to live life like this, it is meaningless, it is stupid. I should just start with my lax attitude towards schoolwork, cause i really hope to make a change.

Even now, along the streets i always run by, the white flowers bloom and smile. It chokes people up. People who love the present that which will always pass. The serenity that float by, and the tears that spill over, are all connected to the precious future. Even if it is in an unfamiliar place, even if it is for a long long time, dont forget everyone was once here because we will meet again. Memories arent all sad. So thank you, tsk, zk, smiley and whatever you are called. I hope you saw this although it isnt really making much sense to me either.

I watched as his hands deftly folded the origami paper into a dinosaur, a frog, a carnation. It was something i could never understand as mine always turned out to be lumps of papers much unlike his. But he just smiled.

Yesterday was a special day. For me, they are quiet and pleasant affairs. At least, seems to be one. I am not really sure what a birthday really means. To us, a birthday is like...a day for presents, well wishes and such. But it is hard to see the happiness besides that. Only the people who witnessed a birth, understood and experienced the true feeling of seeing the giving of a new life. Perhaps then, we see the true happiness in celebrating birthdays. Okay scratch that.

It is terrifying how time flies. Moments are fleeting, intangible. I thought i was three and playing with my dolls in the little play pen. Here i am, trying to solve complicated equations all the time. I am fifteen. Yet i no nothing. Mia said at fifteen, she was not a girl, not yet a woman. I am still a girl, i dont want to be a woman. Not yet. Because at fifteen, i didnt know who i am supposed to be. I no i have a lot of things to do now. And i will talk again soon.

She reached out her hands to the sky. Them dissolving into red,green, orange and more,swirling up in a cyclic shape. Iridescent droplets clung to her, half gone, yet shimmering in the light.

Last post for August. It's getting real boring cause whenever i get some inspiration which i would like to share here, i would forget it the next moment. Anyway, august is one the the more pretty months around. It is red, purple and brown. But it gets so dreamy, i think i experienced a time lapse kind of thing. Did archery for cca today. We see it as weaponry during war shows and stuff, but i thought the bow is a beautiful weapon. Okay,that didnt quite sound right.

There is this new thing in England called "putpocketing". It is a foundation set up for the economic downturn, and put-pockets would slot in a few pounds into a person's pocket instead of picking from it. It is almost like compensation for what recurrent pickpockets have done. To think the head of the association was a former pickpocket. It's really cool, because some of the smallest things in the world brighten up people's day. To let them no everyone out there have their troubles, yet it isnt true that we are not concerned about each other. The economic downturn wasn't all that bad. Now that was a weird topic. The whole thing is weird. See you next month.

We were to be best friends, with our shirts and his toothy smiles. But we all know, the gap was too big to fill and pictures, memories all started to fade.

I always knew i never did like sjab. From the moment i entered, i promised myself i wont like it. But as we move on from that stage, the people i met there, the things i experienced and the very fact that i grew up with it as part of my life, made me realise i couldnt hate it. Of course, i still cant say i love the organisation. But i love all the people i met there. From immature, rebellious kids, we are now the seniors of it. Some things have happened, and i know how unfair it is to remove someone because of what she has not achieved, and not choose her because of her abilities.We brood over it, but there is nothing we can do. So..i just want to say, no matter what happens, we will always be a team, and support each other.This is our last year, so let's make it work. Who seriously cares about what that woman thinks? She is truly blind to all of us but as long as each of us no what is the best, it would be fine.

Oil painting is getting fab and fabber. Other stuff is just..yeah well. And this place is a dump. Why do i even bother trying to blog. I ran out of things to talk about. How about Obama and the "stupid policeman"? Or Teharan? They are really things we should be concerned about. And i nod my head very seriously. Okay, maybe not. See you around.

We are halfway through, but we are still here. Withered stumps of time stared upon the walls, bringing everything to a still.

I dont like sharing. But it seems as though a lot has happened the past month, and i, who never had siblings, is forced to learn how to share attention and love. How does it feel to not have someone listening to you, and only you all the time? I dont no. How does it feel if someone important to you's life is in danger? All your memories with him, all your experiences, you hang on to them so tightly, like a person trying to stop a humongous hot air balloon from drifting away.

Then i realise, that i am not living for someone else, i am living for myself. Why would what i do and create, affect someone else? And this might sound horribly cheesy, but if i cant get a grip of my direction, i wont ever go anywhere. Take me away, back to wonderland.

To her astonisment, a pair of shimmering black wings spread out from his back. She brought up a pair of hands as the sunlight glinted. Definitely.

Hello hello. I finished my anime marathon for the time being, and have since embarked on the journey of american turned japanese animation, more well known as dubbing. It is cheesy, hair raising and stupid, but it is endearing and nostalagic. Doesnt really make sense but nevermind. Today, waited for squad pigs for 2 hours before going for late afternoon tea which only lasted for less than half an hour...

The holidays are finally starting and i am not moving. Man. I am a total mess, sinking sinking. I must pull myself up and schedule my days properly from today. I got nothing to blog. Well, two times a month. Thats a first. I am so bored i am actually counting the number of times i blogged each month. Which can be counted with three fingers. Yeah, okay. I shall try to keep up. See you around.

You are not my imaginary friend. You are just too real for that. I dont believe it, but I am too.


I always liked this writer. Even if i am old and pruny, and totally outgrown his books, i will fondly remember these tales he created with that nib. How real is George and his fabulous medicine? I would love to see how hair polish and car wax mix together, add a bit of animal food and oil will create this wonderful potion that makes animals turn into extremes. How real is James and the Giant Peach? They sailed in this huge peach that should have rotted abd disintergrated in the sea, and landed on the Empire State building. Every story had a flabbergasting ending. Even Boy is good.

I dont want to go cross country. It isnt fair, first aid club is taking over our duty. And to think we did it for so many years. Oh well. Have a nice time, May. See you around.